Alex

Whatever lets try this LJ thingie again

2007-02-07T06:23:51Z

Well things seem to be happening for the better and the good, I love life and am happy to be here on the planet earth. All my old friends Im going to be a hippie and concentrate energys of love, peace, and happieness toward you. I know for some of you things may not be going as planned but hey when you ask the universe for crumbling cookies... . I am no longer a stoner as i have been sober for a month now (woo hoo) I like it and have been reading books like "the way of the peaceful warrier" watching movies like "what the bleep do we know?" and "the secret", thinking about the universe down to the galaxy down to the solar system down to the earth down to the country down to the province down to the city down to the human down to the cell down to the electron and atom (or atom and electron) things like that help me to understand that I create what I want, and All I want is for me to be happy with myself and to thank all the people who have love and care in thier hearts. You all rock and are beautiful human beings with powerful spirits that grow everyday. And if your interested heres my life right now in point form.

-dating a super awsome fantastic girl named Alison
-working towards animation school in london (england)
-thinking of a TESOL thingie
-working with my dad installing cabinets and going to be working on the disney store soon
-living behind market mall
-eating proper meals, that i make (or Alison makes)
-hanging out with jeff when i can
-talking to my brother joey as much as possible (he is a warrier)
-working on being happy with myself and the universe (which i am, as well as grateful to the universe for being so)

anywho thats my point form

peace and love
stardog

Hello Journal

2006-03-29T00:51:46Z

So im at home now 5:30 the bus took so bloody long. But I checked out 2 apartment buildings for me and mark and soon the boardwalk apartment buildings on the internet so hopefully a producive day. As I look around and see the mess I may have to clean. And in saying that I like things tidy most the time thing is sometimes i need snap out of my little depressions which last for a little while where I dont care about nothing even myself which is sad but ok for now as I am able to see it in myself therefore I can fix it. Sorry just needed a rant and look at myself.

Umm so for moving I hopefully will have aiming for 1800 In the old bank account I wont need that much but its good to set goals. That only leaves me with a little spending money for the Pirate Party Im going too.
Need Info on Pirate Party leave a note.
I think I might dress up as pirates get cheaper drinks.(the things I do to save a buck)

Life is good

Waiting for a bus when a hot tanned 26ish woman pulls up in a clean unmarked van and asks me how to get to 16th ave, I told her how to get to crowchild, she rewarded me with a red bull, and 50 quest exp.
(I made up the last part)

Wow my mind is so unorganized. need to meditate more.
I should set a goal for a day. because i should make meditating a daily thing.
maybe 10 min before bed, yeah that sounds doable

lord_deth @ 2005-12-23T13:10:00

2005-12-23T20:19:21Z

ok so I have the internet back now horay!!!
I ran for the bus this morning 7 blocks on kensington but still had some time to stop for coffee... no wait let me start from the beginning.
5:30am tune of zelda goes off from my phone and snooze button is hit
5:40am zelda, snooze
5:50am zelda, snooze
6:00am zelda, snooze but I get up this time and head for the bathroom where I go for a morning bong hoot
6:05am start getting dressed and ready and turn on computer for music insperation
6:10am zelda damn alarm is in my room oh look pot, one more bong hoot
6:15am realize that I need coffee and I have 10min to make it to bus stop with 7 blocks to cover.

and yes I made it to the bus in just the second of time with adding visine drops to my eyes

an excellent friday morning

I did nothing at work all day and listend to live carpenters guitar playing 4 of them from 11 to 12 and came home.

sup

lord_deth @ 2005-03-22T12:15:00

2005-03-22T19:15:34Z

you are lightgoldenrodyellow
#FAFAD2

Your dominant hues are red and green, so you're definately not afraid to get in and stir things up. You have no time for most people's concerns, you'd rather analyze with your head than be held back by some random "gut feeling".

Your saturation level is very low - you have better things to do than jump headfirst into every little project. You make sure your actions are going to really accomplish something before you start because you hate wasting energy making everyone else think you're working.

Your outlook on life is bright. You see good things in situations where others may not be able to, and it frustrates you to see them get down on everything.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

Ive broken onto frans computer ha ha

2005-01-24T06:09:33Z

Sorry about my computer being dead but just because it is doesnt mean that you people can just ignore me I mean fuck I call you fuckers up just to chat or say hey and make sure your not dead you havent heard from me for a month and you think oh well thats one more friend down the drain, well fuck.

Anyway my computer is dead, I got a new job, I have to talk to my school, and I am here in calgary, Im trying to be gone in april and it would be nice to see or even hear from some of my friends before I go but if not then fuck you all.

Also there is no reason to respond to this as this is a once in a while thing breaking into the computer.
so if you have a problem call me 608 then my old number.

fuck.

lord_deth @ 2004-12-13T10:24:00

2004-12-13T17:25:24Z

Your World (Part Three): How do you see your world [boys]
brought to you by Quizilla

Your World (Part Two): Your social world [boys]
brought to you by Quizilla

Your World (Part One): What is your world made of? [boys]
brought to you by Quizilla

lord_deth @ 2004-12-12T15:19:00

2004-12-12T22:19:45Z

You scored as True Neutral. A True Neutral person has two faces- either these people are merely apathetic, preferring to focus their minds on more important things, or these people truly believe in a balance of all things. To these people, there can be no light without some darkness. These people also have no dedication to, or intrinsic distrust of, laws.

</td>

Chaotic Good

70%

True Neutral

70%

Lawful Good

65%

Neutral Evil

60%

Neutral Good

50%

Chaotic Evil

45%

Lawful Evil

40%

Chaotic Neutral

35%

Lawful Neutral

25%

What is your Alignment?
created with QuizFarm.com

To all who read my stuff

2004-12-12T22:04:14Z

www.machall.com

well soon im done school and that is cool i enjoyed it and cant wait to get back in april (fingers crossed) but untill then ive decided to start to live up to what potential all those people talk about in my past as I know now that i am not what i think i am, i am what i allow others to percive me as.

ill miss school but most of all the girls i gotta get some and soon soon (fingers crossed)

religions test tommorrow wicked

next test on saturday so mark im free ill call you later tonite and see what your up to.

also i need a windows operating system 98,2000, or xp would be nice but ill take anything right now.

ummm well call me anyone im a little stressed but talking to people would be cool.

Im a Superhero

2004-11-28T02:45:28Z

Im still awake and it hurts but at least i ate

me eat human brains

2004-11-27T12:19:54Z

I now think that I have insomnia. te he he he heh ehehehhehehjlkjflisadfjlkasdjgklasdgnklma'mgk'asdgl;asdgl;k'asdgl;gasdjkl;jiotgwer t /zw tg v jm/i3

Confused

2004-11-27T06:35:05Z

I finally know what Travis talks about with just wanting to end it all, not in the suicidal sense but in the fact of suffering is reality and suffering sucks.

Ok new things
Heather a friend of mine in my mon, wed, fri classes. wait, pause first a older story

look to grade 11
math 20 mr. iforgets class I sat beside sarah ng and for my persistance upon being her friend I was rewarded with a pendant of friendship it was long brown string and old school celtic cross end story

about monday ago I gave this pendant to Heather as a symbol of friendship as far as I knew she was dating a frenchie named john or something so I thought I was safe with her as a friend.

today I found out she hasnt been dating john in a while and that she has gotten flowers once when she got cheated upon which is a bunk deal.

so heres the question do I get her a flower.
and do I chase her or is it not fair with me leaving, remember she is a good girl and I dont want to hurt her or anyone for that matter.

also side note I have the bad choda and I must kill my anus

thank you for your time my friends and I would like a little advise even though you people are the suck at women you are the best bet for me cause I love you and have no one else.

Help

PS
mark I had a insight in palladium games the fantasy rpg and I think that sdc and hp go down at the same rate ie. if i hit and do 10 damage thats 10 sd and 10 hp hurting the armor and the person if of course i hit the ar thingie. wanna check it out for me if you get a chance i think im right.

The sway of Ms. Mary

2004-11-26T08:37:21Z

Ok there are quite a few things that have been going on in my life up to this point so a brief overview then I will start stating goals and promises that I can't possible hold up to then feeling bad about that will start to brag about how good I am at some sort of skill.

OVERVIEW
-Smoking quite a bit now but planning to stop for school in January
-Have been smoking with Joey (my sisters boyfriend) and now he doesnt seem like a tard (dammit Mary).
-At school only been doing it really on Thursdays and Tuesdays
-Gives me a sense of feeling that there is somebody out there to enable me to not be lonely
-Been thinking about a Girl at school that I just want to be friends with
-I dont know whats going on but myself wants me to get laid badly Its stupid retarded now and I cant do anything about it
-I miss sex and having somebody to hold all night (not in that order though)
-Been seeing Russ at school all the time now I dont mind the guy in small doses but thats not what Im getting
-I miss Jeff, Will, Mark, Trav, James, Bennett, Mark B., and Ben
-I dont know If I can go on half the time
-I need to get my finances together for school in Toronto but I am accepted
-My sister is trying to be my mom
-I need my drivers
-I dont know if im smart enough to do this video game design and Im scared to hell
-Im trying to avoid people so that people will forget about me and not be hurt when I leave (this post will help obviously)
-Im constantly battling between sober alex and wasted alex
-had a wisdom tooth removed
-need 2 root canals

Sober Alex
-Better Memory
-Needs sex bad
-likes to work out
-buddhist
-socially inert

Wasted Alex
-Funny
-Spiritual
-decent social standing at school
-lazy
-outgoing

so who am I?

What do I feel bad about
-doing nothing to help Tibet and her people
-watching aids and war destroy millions of people in africa
-inaction and fear of ce la femme (whatever i dont speak french but I apologize to any who do)
-not spending enough time with friends that care for me
-allowing my self-isolation
-not being able to afford pesents for christmas

Positive feel better stuff
-Im a wicked climber
-Im working out a little more
-Im starting to get organized

Misc
-I dont think I like myself and I think that all of you are fuckers who cant make real friends so forget me.

From
-Someone who trys to understand

Sorry

lord_deth @ 2004-11-10T20:29:00

2004-11-11T03:33:01Z

So I have had a tooth ache for the last couple of days and went to the dentist today and he gave me something called T3's and they seem to work really good, any way 2 of my teeth have to come out one of them wisdom and then I need a root canal done he he. Oh well when I heard this I was like "take em all I dont fuckin need them".

Im coming to Airdire for sure this weekend so trav or mark ill call you somethime soon

Stolen Test from James

2004-11-09T22:31:22Z

1. Are you male or female?: Dark Rider, Pool Shark

2. Describe yourself: Out of Range, Same in the End

3. How do some people feel about you?: Poker Face, Hope

4. How do you feel about yourself?: Shatterproof, Ain't no Prophet

5. Describe an old girlfriend/boyfriend/interest: Lady Venom, New Realization

6. Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend/interest: Temptation, Wrong Way

7. Where would you rather be?: Anthrax Island (?), Lets go get stoned

8. Where are you?: Deep End, Waiting for my Ruca

9. Describe what you want to be: Freak Fantastic, Were only going to die from our own Arrogance

10. Describe how you live: Bless & Destroy, Smoke two Joints

11. Describe how you love: Bottle Rocket, Caress me Down

12. Share a few words of wisdom: Long Way Down, Don't Push

lord_deth @ 2004-10-22T14:58:00

2004-10-22T21:06:05Z

Today I have had no drugs or booze or caffine, and I dont feel normal you know.

Anyway I have offically applied to the International Academy of Technology and Design in Toronto for January.
I have to have a portfolio ready in less then a week (... insane i be in my own mind we see?) I would greatly appriciate anybody who knows anybody or is willing themselves to show me how to work photoshop, 3d studio max, or milkshape, if you can help me I will spare no expense to accomodate you, just please help me.

Thats right I stardog am asking for help anybody please help me.

As far as Jen goes I dont think that I will be trying to attain the poontang from her as I see her more as a friend but damn do I want to get laid.

Umm whatelse has happened?

Oh yes Trav I have tryed calling you but to no avail the phone seems to be constantly in use at your base (so call me).

Im almost 30 and what have I accomplished

2004-10-18T21:42:58Z

Ok so as you people who read this know, I really dont know what to do with my life. While recently I have been thinking to what I did want to do with my career and what my career goals were when I was a little younger. My point is I fully trust myself even if it is me in the past but I also know that I am part crazy. So anyway Ive been thinking about becoming a Video Game Designer and I want to know from you people, travis and mark inparticular is that something that you can see me doing and doing well in?

My God status has ended.

2004-10-15T21:44:12Z

Why cant I play games and win anymore? Billiards, people want to fight me so I gave it up a week or two into school and it was fine, now video games I used to be 3rd in Calgary what the hell happened to me? Ive made a list to follow to get my game godhood back.

How to gain almost equal to me in video game godhood
-Celebacy (no whack or sex (if only))
-No Drugs (caffine is not a drug)
-Healthy Eating (coffee and cola are healthy)
-Travis's workout thingie
-6 hours of video games a day 10 on weekend or holiday
-school work and studing

PS
Long is a differnt story he can just kick so much ass its hard not to win when you use him

BLOODY ROAR

Creature of my Mind

2004-10-15T02:16:22Z

So I dont know what is wrong with me, I think it is in part due to my isolation a little while ago, I mean I was alone for a long time and I think I got used to it. I say this all because my Dad and Fran are here, since last week wednesday, and are not going now untill monday or tuesday. I cant take it too much longer they pester me and pester me and pester me and I am definately going to snap and if I am here for this weekend I cannot garuntee my not being hauled off for murder or assult with a turkey. My problems with them so far...

-Alex are you studying, do you have any homework?
-My answer in my head. Fuck off you havent been there for the last 21 yrs dont try to get involved in what I want to do alone now.

-Alex did you clean your room/bathroom?
-Fuck off, it is my bedroom what the hell are you doing going in there and the same is said about my bathroom.

-They get a new meal every night. There are so many left overs. They wonder why I eat so little.
-This bugs me cause its waste pure and simple. There really is no room in the fridge. I eat the leftovers when I get hungary, not that I dislike eating but fuck I dont need that much food while poeple starve, its sick.

-If me and my father were american (god forbid) I would be a democrat and he would be a republican.
-you can see the arguments about religion and politics turning to some heated words.

-My dad has a plan to be with the one he loves and yet he doesnt understand that love is all there is and he should do what he can to be with her.
-Solution: it involves the pigs lets just keep it at that

-Alex why arent you banging grils you arent a fag are you?
-Fuck I hate myself sometimes because I cannot hate my dad, something is wrong in my head.

So in other words that is my homelife for the last week and I think that I am crazy now there never was a going phase its just pure crazy now.

Well lets see oh there is Jen. Jen... that is a subject that I have no clue about I know she was born in febuary and I looked it up she is either a aquarius or a picies if it is picies then I think there is chemistry if it is aquarius then I am content to be friends, I keep getting mixed signals oh well maybe she will call me? maybe I need to learn more about her?

School=Midterms of Death (nuf said)

Anyways started playing FF7 to get in mood for advent children I think I will use Cid but I am not sure for a third character I want somebody who can cast spells well and has good to decent limits any advice?

Again to any of those who care for grammer and spelling *slap* sorry about it.

lord_deth @ 2004-10-10T15:08:00

2004-10-10T21:09:29Z

did anyone else know that Joss Whedon might be directing the 3rd x-man movie?
im talking to you mark.

spiderman... spiderman...(stares deeply into space)

2004-09-30T02:28:49Z

I dont get it I meet a very nice girl with sensable ambitions a interesting personality and a cute body and what happens "oh yeah spiderman is one of my obsessions my room is covered in spiderman" (and so is her truck). Do I look like peter fucking parker I dont fucking know but why spiderman. spiderman I love you but I got some bad connotations about you bud.

Regina can blow my ass

2004-08-08T18:42:04Z

I want to come back home so badly ask Trav. I am so unhappy out here but my dad comes back tonite around 8 and he wants me to stay to finish tiling(?) a tickit home will cost $96.86 which I have or I can hoof it which is possible. I am a wreck right now and fuck my back went out on me last night and I cant seem to do anything right at the job site. Every trade but the electricians and tapers are spazing out throwing shit around and the other trades are from calgary so there is no pride in me I just want to jump off the delta hotel here. I am very homesick and I cant even find a boston pizza just to feel a little better. I met some people out here but Im not allowed to hang out with them because my doesnt trust them (think jar but more sober)
I miss Travis, Mark, Kelsey, Pat, and my computer. Im going to stay until monday night where no matter what I am leaving by my own means or if my dad wants his own means but I am leaving on monday. I havent slept for about 2 days now and Im not tired I dont know why I just want to cry. and that pisses me off cause I hate having weaknesses and being in a desolate wasteland surrounded by hicks who tell me to put my hat forward like a proper young man ahhhhhh if one more hick tells me that im going to try my best to kill him or her I dont care I will kill a fucking redneck if I have to deal anymore with anybody. I miss mountins.

I break.

Why do I care
To have my father's approval
Which is already won
But I feel the beast within
Cannot accept approval.

I snap.

Travel to the land of nothing
Watching anger abound and around
Abandoned
To the land of nothing
To wait?
To run?

I cry.

Will he come back
Accepting that I must get out?

I break.
I snap.
I cry.

Dammit Travis

2004-08-03T13:25:30Z

So last night in my dream I was talking to Travis about girls ok not so unusual (the talk part not me dreaming about it). Anyway I remember saying that I wasnt going to date again untill I find a Scorpio to date and then Trav said "Who wouldnt date a Scorpio" "Alex you shouldnt judge people based on thier horoscopes as that is silly" (but with more of the Trav style of delivery.
Anyway in conclusion it is just funny to me now that Trav can smack down my words in real life and in my dreams.

Desolate Wasteland

2004-07-23T19:55:44Z

Im sitting here in the Delta Reginas Business Centre waiting for 20 minutes now to go and unload 5 tons of material off of some stupid truck that was supposed to be here at 8 this morning.

Dear god I want to run away not that I dont love living with my dad in the same room for the last little while it feels like month but I dont know how long ive been out here, But ahh such stupidity from him I shouldnt have come out I would have respected him more.

As far as money goes I came out here with the understanding that I would be making $14 an hour but now am told its $12 and I think that when I get paid It will acually be from fran and traslate into $10 so its a bunch of fucking bull shit. At least there are some cute girls out here but surprise surprise its me thats out here and none of the girls are interested or even take a second look.

Got a talking to about my drug problem you know smoking pot and such, as far as my dad goes he wants me to act like I dont in front of the other trades because it might get back to his boss and then he would be assumed to smoke pot and lose his job, there that was the whole talk.

I saw a Kung Fu thing in a park today they seemed slow but the movements were very fluid and graceful some little kid was very rocking and looked very good.

Ive decided that in the winter I want to take a martial art form only I cannot choose my choices right now are Capoara (sorry trav but i got no clue how its spelt), Ninjitsu, and Kung Fu.

Talked to my dad about my life and what I want to do. Apparantly following what makes me happy and what I think is right in my heart is the lazy way out and not for a Nicholas to engage in. But he will still let me live at his house.

Im back for a week on sunday morning so maybe Ill call people up or I will just be a loser and stay in my room away from people so that I can work on my zen.

I am going crazy this is the worst time of my life up till now we go to bars where he gets drunk and critizes me I dont drink cause I know I cannot control what I do when I drink and I know it would be silly.

In closing
"A wise monkey never monkeys with another monkey's monkey"
-My new t-shirt
words to live by

so im back on sunday the 25th and im gone on the first or second.

Mark
Congrats on getting a place in calgary good for you my brother and thank you for watching the dog my parents called me and asked me if I had any friends that I could trust and you were one of my choices trav being the other but trav has a war against time these days as do we all but travs is a bigger war.

Trav
How goes?

Anyone else who reads my LJ
Sup I know you dont exist really.

Again sorry about grammer and spelling and If what I said pissed anyone off just Ignore my idiocity please Im in no mood to fight with anyone my defences are so low right now that I couldnt take it so just accept my apoligies and dont strike my with a rightous flame.

I have to work now and then go and sleep and hope for sunday.

lord_deth @ 2004-07-02T08:59:00

2004-07-02T15:19:11Z

So I guess in about a week and a half I'm going to Regina to work for my father. Now to anybody who knows me well enough I love my dad and I get well enough along with him we dont really agree much on anything or talk alot, but the point is we have a working relationship. Now he calls me up and says that I might be going to Regina for a month to help him for $12-14 an hour 30-40 hours a week, but yet again I have in the past worked for my dad and the end result did not go well also I hate the fact that I haven't the foggiest what I'm doing when it comes to anytype of construction. I have to take it because I'm living with him and if I don't things may get very uncomfortable (stupid cow). Anyways what all this inevitably means is that my plans to hang out with Trav, Mark, others....(?) are doom ed (yes it is spelt write I like saying doom ed). I was going to try and go to my moms for some of the summer and maybe work at Flames but alas.

so Mark I would love to join your mage campaign I even have about 2 character concepts that ive been working on but I cannot not from lack of interest (trust me theres lots) but from going to but fuck saskatchewan (I know its there capital city but It cant be bigger then a few tee-pees and maybe a big mead hall in the center of the villige).

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhg

Trav, Mark come out to calgary before the 10th or come to calgary on the 10th at night we can go and see sum 41 play for $11 and if you come early we can go and see Fred Penner (if you know that well then im scared) Fred Penner is the bomb, He is the ultimate Hobo and I was going to go and see him you guys should come and hang with me that day especally since im going to wormwood... opps my mistake, saskatchewan.

A Letter to my Soul Mate

2004-06-29T19:54:53Z

Dear M.G.

Where are you?
I've tried looking for you in myself,
but alas you were not there.
Then I started to improve oneself,
but alas you never saw me.

I thought I saw you the other day.
Did you work with me,
Play pool with me,
Did you drink with me,
Silently let me win the last game?
I thought I saw you the other day,
and you face still haunts me.

I would like input please about what was good what sucked any questions that sort of thing, this is acually me writing with my emotions so it was hard (so be a cruel as you can (talking to you james, travis, mark)).